Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Children ‘the silent victims’ of domestic abuse

ALMOST 1,700 children of women who are victims of domestic violence are also being abused, figures show. 

Women’s Aid said another 3,000 children are living in a home affected by domestic violence and many see or hear the abuse being carried out against their mother.

"Children are the silent, unseen and unheard victims of domestic violence in modern day Ireland," said Margaret Martin, director of Women’s Aid.

She called on the Government to protect children in domestic violence situations by fully protecting the abused parent.

"This principle needs to be acknowledged and reflected in any new child protection structures and in any review of family law and domestic violence legislation," said Ms Martin.

She spoke at the launch of the 16 Days of Action, a global campaign highlighting gender violence.

"For many women who call Women’s Aid, protecting their children is a constant worry. The recession has greatly reduced options for women experiencing domestic violence, with many reporting that they have become more trapped in the violent relationship. It is heartbreaking to listen to women who, with their children, are living in a state of fear."

She said figures compiled by the charity for 2010 show that 1,658 incidents of child abuse were disclosed by callers.

Abusive tactics include:

*Smacking and hitting children, including with household items.

*Physically and sexually abusing children.

*Children being manipulated against the mother, making children side with the abuser.

*Constantly shouting in children’s faces.

In addition to these incidents, in 3,014 calls it was disclosed that children were living with domestic violence against their mother.

Ms Martin said in the majority of these cases it was likely children will have witnessed or heard the abuse.

She said on just one day (November 4, 2010), 324 children accessed domestic violence support, including 159 children who were accommodated in refuges.

Ms Martin said she was worried about the impact of Budget 2012 on vital services provided by Women’s Aid. Its helpline answered over 10,000 calls in 2010.

* Women’s Aid Freephone Helpline: 1800 341 900

The abused

*"I wanted to leave, but he told me time and time again, ‘If you ever leave me, I’ll make sure you never see your daughter again’. At times I thought of killing myself. I felt totally trapped. It’s only for my children that I kept myself going." — Alison

*"The turning point came when my son said to me one day ‘Mammy, I’m afraid of my Daddy’. I knew I had to leave." — Alison

*"I can’t believe that even after all I’ve been through to stop him abusing me and the children that I still have to meet him every week, listen to him shouting at the children and telling me he might not bring them back this time." — Elizabeth

*"One weekend he didn’t let the kids call me and at 8 on Sunday there was still no sign of him." — Elizabeth